Not everything HR related has to be as serious as Healthcare Reform or the secure transmission of Private Heath information. In our team, we often pass around articles we see of interest from other authors, blogs or magazines – how else are we supposed to continue to grow?
Wendy, who keeps all our trains running on time as our team’s Operations Manager, thought she’d pass on an interesting article shared by Richard Cohen on 9 Things Not to Say in a Termination Meeting on the Employment Practices Network.
Of course, Wendy also has to put up with our less than professional nature and irreverence at times. As my mom used to say, “I buy you books and buy you books, and all you do is eat the pages.” (Seriously, she said that!)
So when Wendy e-mailed me the article, instead of following the link and expanding my HR skills, I decided to reinterpret the article into a more sarcastic vein. That super ball started bouncing around and didn’t end until our COO, Ross, chimed in with the coup de grâce with the final entry.
So in the spirit of sharing the fun, here are the items we think should be on the list of the 9 (+2) Things Not to Say in a Termination Meeting:
1.) Wait. You still work here?
2.) Sorry, what was your name again?
3.) And in exchange for the video you have on your cell phone from HR Tech Conference, I am prepared to…
4.) It’s not you, It’s me.
5.) Would you drop these forms off in HR on your way out the door?
6.) And you thought no one saw you setting your dirty dishes in the sink, did you?
7.) How many paper clips can you not account for?
8.) Do you know _______? You remind me a lot of her. And she’s gone.
9.) Could I borrow $20? I’ll pay you back next payday.
10.) I have something important to talk to you about, but I just can’t stop laughing!
11.) Don’t let the door hit you in the @$# on the way out.