I recently checked the Periodic Table (and no, I don’t have that as my shower curtain… anymore), but I couldn’t find a listing for feedback among the elements. Perhaps the chemistry texts haven’t been updated to reflect our new age, but I am truly convinced that honest feedback has to be a precious building block of life. As a leader, consultant, co-worker as well as friend and husband – there’s not one area of my life that doesn’t improve with thoughtful and honest feedback.
Nonetheless, in our surface society where pleasantness is practiced at all times, constructive feedback can be such a rare commodity, indeed. Consumers don’t complain, they just stop buying. Dates stop calling without reason. And everywhere we have the ultimate surface word: “Fine.”
As a husband, I’ve painfully learned that the word “fine” means absolutely anything but “fine.” Can you imagine the wrath I would face if I was to think all was fine after a disagreement and go back to whatever I was doing before? The dead would envy me.
Wayne McKamie has a program on feedback that inspired me to see feedback as a precious treasure. Here are a couple of his thoughts:
- The world would be a scary place without feedback (i.e., Leprosy). Many mistakes are made by leaders who limit honest feedback and surround themselves by “yes men.”
- We receive and use feedback all the time (e.g., Speedometer). Sometimes we integrate it into our plans and worldview and other times we choose to ignore it.
- Honest feedback is neutral – it is neither good nor bad until we label it. We have the power to let feedback not affect us or to cut us to our core.
- Feedback is unique in it’s ability to:
- give another perspective to things I think I already fully understand
- allows me to see myself through someone else’s judgments & perception of my actions
- it can hold a mirror up to my actions providing encouragement or conviction
- can help me identify blind spots
So bringing this back to our HR Tech world of magic and wonder, I should point out that we often look to see how a vendor seeks or handles feedback. Everyone says they want feedback – it’s the obvious right answer to the question – but they often then 1) don’t handle it well or 2) don’t act on the feedback.
For an example, I invite you to look over my shoulder at an exchange between the Head of Sales at a reputable Midwestern Benefits Administration vendor and a peer of mine in the account service side of our Dallas office.
First, the vendor reaches out. (Often this is the most difficult step! Initiating this conversation is always a scary proposition and requires a courageous commitment to self-knowledge.)
“I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving! I wanted to check in and see how we are performing for your team and [Client]. I appreciate your insight. Thank you in advance for your reply.”
Then comes the feedback:
“I was on vacation, but your team continues to break their previous records on amount of errors, and not understanding the needs of the customer. The customer and I are extremely unhappy and nothing continues to get done. The only person I have any faith in is [Local Sales Guy]”
Finally, the reply:
“Not the news I wanted to hear. I will get with the team and see what I can do. Thank you for the reply.”
In this reply the vendor isn’t doing anything incorrect. They asked and they received. Now the proof of their intention will come from whatever actions they next take. Does this feedback fall off like water on a duck’s back? Does the vendor leadership rally their troops around this employer client (and Account Team) to ensure a drastic change? Here’s where the true value of feedback is realized: in the results.
We know lots of vendors who say they want to know what their clients are thinking. What we’re looking for are the vendors that can deliver progress when the feedback isn’t stellar just as much as they celebrate when everyone’s singing their praises.